Why setting goals as a parent is important

Devon had always been a confident parent who felt like he was in sync with his son, Trevor. He felt that parenting had come to him instinctively; when Trevor was upset, he knew how to calm him down, and he could always tell when Trevor needed more space. But when Trevor was diagnosed with cancer just after his high-school graduation and spent the summer in treatment, Devon suddenly lost all confidence in his ability to be a good parent. He was no longer sure what his son needed, and didn’t feel like he could keep track of all of his medications and appointments. He even found himself avoiding serious conversations with Trevor, afraid that he wouldn’t know what to say.

A social worker assured Devon that what he was feeling was completely normal, and in order to feel better about it, she suggested that he articulate his goals as a parent and set a couple of specific intentions to focus on. So after talking to Trevor to be sure it would be helpful, Devon decided his primary goals were to learn more about his son’s medications and follow-up appointments, and to have a regular check-in with Trevor each day, in which he asked his son how he was doing and listened deeply to his response.