Overview of Goleman’s Four Emotional Intelligence Domains and “Learned Competencies”

Goleman's Four Intelligence Domains are Self-Awareness, Social Awareness, Self-Management and Relationship Management. Below we'll outline these domains and how you can develop them in different social settings, including the workplace.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness includes emotional self-awareness, reflection, and accurate self-assessment. Someone who is self-aware is:

• Aware of one’s own feelings and emotional states.
• Aware of emotional triggers – when and how activated, somatic and psychological “Yellow Flashing Lights”.
• Owns personal triggers and reactivity vs. jumping to blame or shame.
• Recognizes how your personal behavior impacts others.
• Aware of how others influence your emotional state.
• Ability to take oneself lightly. A good sense of humor and humility.
• Sense of purpose, guided by values and a clear set of principles.

How To Develop Self-Awareness

Try out these tips:

• Ask for feedback at work and home (trusted peers and boss, coach, 360 assessments, etc.).
• Interoceptive emotional/body awareness.
• Affirm your strengths.
• Inspiration/courage to learn, change, grow.
• Revisit purpose, meaning and values.
• Time for introspection: journaling, meditation.
• Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
• Release the need to be perfect.

Social Awareness

Social awareness is composed of empathy and organizational awareness.

• Empathy
  • Curiosity about others, ability to step into the shoes of another.
  • Interested in welfare of others.
  • A sense of shared humanity.
  • Recognizes “Empathy Fatigue” and knows how to move toward compassionate action.
• Organizational Awareness
  • Understanding and navigating the organization, its culture and politics.
  • Ability to devise strategy, innovate and to manage organizational change.
  • Building rapport and networks. Keeps others in the loop.
  • Understands diverse worldviews. Challenges bias and intolerance.

How To Develop Social-Awareness

• Practice mindful/deep listening.
• Understand unconscious bias and challenge your
• assumptions.
• Get curious, be curious.
• Develop and grow a rich and diverse network of
• peers and friends.
• Practice kindness and empathy.
• Learn to discern self-interest vs. interest of the
• team.
• Remember Increasing one’s social awareness is a
• life-long process, supported by self-awareness.

Self Management and Regulation

Social management is composed of emotional self-control and adaptability. 

• Emotional self-control:
  • Handle and care for strong emotional triggers, intrapersonal and interpersonally.
  • Stress management and healthy coping strategies.
  • Self-compassion, self-soothing.
  • Courage.
  • Ability to cope with “Leadership Stress” and the avoid the “Sacrifice Syndrome”.
• Adaptability and flexibility, life-long learning
  • Ability to deal with change, ambiguity and conflict.
  • Handling unexpected demands.
  • Acknowledges mistakes and models psychological safety.
  • Models emotional vulnerability, as warranted.
  • Focused and flexible attention – ability to move from an inward focus to a focus on others and an outward/organizational focus.

How To Develop Self Management

• Care for the basics/practice good self-care: sleep, good nutrition, and exercise. Take good care of your mental health and learn new ways to manage your stress.
• Journal and/or set aside time some quiet time for reflection, daily if possible.
• Practice mindful awareness throughout your daily activities.
• Maintain healthy and caring relationship. Share your emotions with those you trust.
• Create more time time for play and things you enjoy doing.
• Learn and own your personal emotional triggers and learn to work with them. As needed, seek out
• support from others including therapists, coaches, trusted friends/family, EAP providers, etc.
• Develop and grow your emotional resilience.

Relationship Management

People tend to manage their relationships in social settings through a few different lenses. These are:

• Influence - through presence and clarity.
• Coach and mentor - developing others.
• Inspirational leadership - transformational leadership
• Conflict management - practice collaboration and know when and how to flex your style.

Show that you are great team member when collaborating by exhibiting these traits:

• Attentive to emotional cues of others.
• Strong listening skills.
•  Ability to communicates needs and wants.
• Models and promotes psychological safety.
• Vulnerability and transparency.

How to Develop Better Relationships and Social Skills

• Accept responsibility for your role in conflict or mistakes you have made.
• Practice collaborative skills and learn to stretch your personal conflict style.
• Practice mindful/deep listening, listen to learn.
• Focus on people first, then problem solve.
• Share recognition.
• Involve others in co-creating an inspirational vision.
• Facilitate “Mindful Meetings” to promote collaboration and inclusive conversations.
• Affirm and leverage individual and team strengths.
• Promote psychologically safe teams by making it okay to make mistakes and to learn and grow from them.
• Empower others to act.
• Busts barriers for those you lead.
• Thank those who mentor(ed) and support you.

After learning about each domain, which areas do feel you are strongest in? Which area can you grow in?